She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
