Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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