Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
