i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
