no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
