remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize