I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
