I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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