The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize