and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
