then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I want is dick and wine.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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