come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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