Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
