Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
