he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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