She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
