Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize