I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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