last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
