Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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