Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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