I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
