So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
