Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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