I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
