I want to walk on stilts...naked
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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