We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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