I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize