I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
