My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
