Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
