Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
