Dual....:-)
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
