Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize