We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
