so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
