I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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