Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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