I feel great
I just peed on a car
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
