We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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