she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize