he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
