belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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