We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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