I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
