My brain says no but my pants say off.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
