ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
