My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
