yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
