The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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