You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
