i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
