So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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