Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
