i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
