ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
