I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
