You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize