he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize