he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
