Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
