All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
