If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
