i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
