THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
