I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
